It’s terrifying that sometimes the thought of art makes me feel angry and sick. The thing i loved the most is starting to be heartbreaking. I’m starting to think that painting might not be right for me. I lied. I’ve actually been thinking that for ages, i’m just finally saying it out loud.
Oh God.
What am i meant to do now?
He doesn’t really piss me off, the things he does to annoy me are just funny.
But rarely he says something that hurts and he doesn’t realise, in fact, i can only think of one time that he’s done this.
This question is hard….
He never puts the cap back on the toothpaste :).
Just applied for an artists residency in Spain.
I’m so fucking nervous.
I absolutely hated this when i painted it. But then my tutor turned it upside down and i think i like it a bit now.
Actually go into uni on my day off to get some work done.
Let myself get scared off by a rude second/third year.
There’s so much self-loathing going on right now. I just needed help! Why didn’t i ask for it?
My morning has been so ridiculously hilarious.
Woken up at 2 in the morning by drunken flatmates running around giggling and shouting. Really. Can’t get back to sleep. Finally sleep at about 6 in the morning. Woken at half 8 in the morning by another flatmate leaving for uni. Decide i feel so sick from lack of sleep that i’ll miss my portrait class (which i was so looking forward to) and sleep through the morning hoping to feel better by 2 in the afternoon to go to my colour class (which i’m also looking forward to). Drunken flatmates that happen to be in the room next to mine wake up at 9 in the morning and start FUCKING GIGGLING AGAIN. Seagulls go fucking mad outside my window. A man bangs his way in throwing a fucking ladder around and then starts shouting into his phone…TWICE.
Finally…all is quiet…
FUCKING FIRE ALARM!
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Kill me now.
As much as i love the people i live with, they can be SO FUCKING INCONSIDERATE!
I think i might die of sleep deprivation from living here.
I’m so torn.
I have to do a self portrait in charcoal.
I used to love charcoal.
I am now learning to hate it. Everytime i use it my work just gets worse and worse. LET ME PAINT I’M DOING A GOSH DARN PAINTING COURSE!.
rage.
p.s. I do appreciate the relation of charcoal and painting. I’ve just spent the whole first semester without paint and now i’m finally doing “painting” …”ok everyone for next week i need you to do a charcoal self portrait!”
Spent the day moving inbetween my bed and painting at my desk.
Today has been the weirdest of days. It keeps going from really really good to really really bad and then back again. Weird weird weird.
I'm Melon. 20. I make art.
Aberystwyth University.
Most of this will be my work, unless i reblog something that inspires me.
I am in a strange limbo of my life at the moment in which everywhere feels so temporary.
